I haven’t even logged on this account in months, mostly because I’ve been trying my best to do what I’ve been telling you all to do in my past few posts: living my life instead of waiting for the day I would take the next steps in my transition. 

I’m not gonna lie and say life has been great during the time I spent away from this account, because it had its ups and downs. I lost my patience for a little while, I had situations with my school and fellow students that led to anxiety attacks, but I gained my patience back and I solved those problems with my school to the best of my ability. 

A main problem I’ve been having lately has to do with my legal name not being the name I’ve gone by these past few years. From substitutes who have no idea to seating charts that weren’t corrected, there has been some close cases that almost led to me being outed a time or two, which as you can guess is incredibly stressful. 

But my legal name and my birth name won’t be the same for much longer. My parents and I have plans to sit down over easter break to start gathering everything we need for my legal name change and then we’re going to get in contact with a lawyer and schedule my court date. It’s kind of crazy to think that this name that has been following me around and causing me so much pain won’t even exist for much longer.

This summer is going to be a busy one for me, what with my name change taking place as well as me finally turning sixteen (the age that was agreed upon since I was thirteen that I would start Testosterone). 

I can hardly believe how fast time has passed, it feels like just yesterday that I was a thirteen year old little kid starting this account and telling you all about my struggles of coming out to my family and the idea of testosterone being so far in my future that I thought the time would never come but it’s almost here and I just, I’m really excited to be moving forward in my transition and wanted to take the time to share this with you guys as well as make a post because this blog has kind of documented everything I’ve been going through since the very beginning. 

Christmas List

  • Get my name legally changed

HALO Awards 2013 WINNER Zachary Keer

I used to spend my evenings watching YouTube videos of other guys like myself reaching the step in their transition that I’ve always wanted to be at but always felt so far from reaching. I’m not saying I don’t get jealous of those guys anymore, what I’m saying is that knowing I’ll be reaching that step soon makes it so much easier to focus on other important things in my life like school, family, and friends instead of wasting my time worrying about when I’ll be able to start T.

If I could give advice to other trans people out there who are currently going through a stage where getting hormones seems like the most important thing in the world, it would be this: You’ll regret the time you spent locked up in your bedroom counting down the days until you could get on the correct hormones. You will someday look back on the period of time you spent doing that and be embarrassed that you treated yourself that way. You are no less a man or woman or anything in between just because you don’t have the correct hormones yet. You’ll have them someday, hopefully soon, but don’t spend too much time worrying about the ‘when’. You can still be happy before you take that step. Stop telling yourself ‘I’ll start living once I get my hormones’ Because, yes, you may live then, but why waste the right now? You won’t be young forever, you gotta live your life to the best of it.

Yes, I know that was incredibly cheesy, but in all seriousness; try your best not to spend all your time focusing on starting hormones, that won’t make time go by any quicker.

kindofaprick:

jeydonn:

I some how managed to meet another trans guy at my school, I swear trans people have something similar to the gaydar (the transdar?) but yeah it feels really great knowing I’m not the only trans guy at my school and I really hope I become good friends with this guy because he’s the first trans person I’ve met in real life.

there’s no such thing as “transdar”. the only thing i would say is that most transpeople may be hypersensitive to gender and assume people are trans when they probably aren’t.

you really shouldn’t assume people are x until they flat out tell you they are x.

The ‘transdar’ thing was a joke, calm down. First of all, I am well aware that there is no such thing as a transdar, there is also no such thing as a gaydar. People jokingly started saying ‘gaydar’ when they randomly met other gay people. It’s not meant to be taken seriously. Second of all, you’re judging me for “assuming” this guy is trans while you’re assuming that I don’t know for sure if he is or not. I actually met this guy in GSA where he told me that he was trans and we discussed what it was like being trans in our High School.

You really shouldn’t assume things with out knowing the whole story.

(via kindofaprick-deactivated2013111)

I some how managed to meet another trans guy at my school, I swear trans people have something similar to the gaydar (the transdar?) but yeah it feels really great knowing I’m not the only trans guy at my school and I really hope I become good friends with this guy because he’s the first trans person I’ve met in real life.

My High School had it’s first GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) meeting today and it was actually a lot more fun than I expected. Even though the name of the club doesn’t say so, it’s a club for all LGBTQAI students at our school. It’s basically just a safe place to go and make friends that you don’t have to worry about judging you. We’ll be discussing different topics each meeting and participating in events like day of silence and other events that go on outside of school for the LGBTQAI community. We also plan on educating people and working together to convince the school to have a unisex bathroom so those uncomfortable with going to the bathroom of their assigned sex don’t have to use the nurse’s bathroom. I was already friends with a couple of people who were there but I also made some new friends really quickly. I’m really excited to continue going to this club, I feel like I’ll get along with most of the people there and get to participate in discussions about issues concerning the LGBTQAI community. I’d also like to say that I really suggest that (if you’re still in High School) you try to convince your school to have a LGBT Club because it’s really important to have a support group like that while in High School.

Seriously this club is the best they had me cracking up at one point because they said LGBTQAI like 5 times in a sentence, and let’s face it, that’s a mouthful. It surprised me how many people were at the first meeting, there like 20-30 kids :O

kara tagged me so have a thing

1. What is your biggest fear?

I had to answer this question for school and my answer was ‘I don’t really have a fear but snakes used to creep me out when I was younger’ so that’s the answer you’re getting.

2. Wizard or Jedi?

Wizard. Come on, dude. You know I pray every night that I’ll get my Hogwarts letter.

3. What is the last book you read and finished?

It’s pretty bad that I can’t remember what the last book I read was. Does fanfiction count? If so it was a sterek fic.

4. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I used to have to fill out this form thing every year about what I wanted to be and apparently in kindergarten I wanted to be a horse. I don’t even know, man. 8-10 I wanted to be an astronaut.

5. Song that describes something you’re going through right now?

I just want to sell out my funeral by The Wonder Years

"I’ll blame the way that I was brought up or the flaws that I was born with or the mistakes that I’ve made; they’re all just fucking excuses."

6. If you could meet anyone, who would it be?

I would meet the person who tagged me in this, Kara, because she is my best friend ever. Also Cody, but I apparently don’t get to pick two people do I. I’ll meet Kara then we’ll run away and kidnap Cody, sound like a plan?

7. Favorite movie?

The Star Trek movies (newer ones are my fav) because of this

8. Know another language?

I’m in Spanish 2 but I still have no fucking clue how to speak Spanish so I’m just gonna say no.

9. The best class you have ever taken?

I don’t know, honestly. I don’t think I have taken one that I would call the best class ever. So I’m just gonna say lunch because food.

10. Describe your best friend. 

I have a best friend named Carebear and she is the most amazing person ever, which sounds incredibly cheesy, but it’s true. She makes me laugh, smile, and feel better when I’m down. She gives the best advice and is one of the kindest and accepting people I’ve ever met. I’m very protective of her so if anyone would ever hurt her I would punch them in the face. Seriously, Kara is the best. I’m gonna go on a bunch of awesome adventures with her and have so many arguments about stupid things with her that leads to us singing dramatic songs to each other like the ones in High School Musical. I just can’t wait until we do all of the things that we made plans to do. Also, I might be meeting her with in the next year, and if I do I’m gonna hug her so tightly then make her take me to Hogwarts at universal because we are both wizards.

11. How do you feel right at this very moment?

Like my head is going to explode because I’m sick and miserable. I also miss summer a lot.