I wanna live not just survive


In case you haven't guessed from my uncreative url my name's Jeydon and this is mostly my transition blog now days
"We spend a long time trying to figure out how to act like ourselves, and then, if we’re lucky, we finally figure out that being ourselves has nothing to do with acting."


So I started Testosterone on Wednesday (7/23/14) which is something I felt a need to post on this blog about (even though I don’t even use it much anymore) just because it’s a point in my transition that I have been waiting to reach for years. I know I sound crazy seeing as it’s only been a few days since I started but there have been a couple small changes so far.

  • Increase in appetite. Before starting T I had problems with my stomach where I literally could not eat with out feeling sick but these past couple days that completely went away and now I just wanna eat everything. Like picture that scene in 17 again where Zac Efron is eating all that food bc that is literally me this week.
  • Increase in energy. This one could have to do with excitement but I have seen other guys mention this as well during their first week so I’m not gonna just not mention it at all. I used to be the most lazy person in existence and although I’m still a lazy teenager I just feel like it’s a lot easier for me to get out of bed in the mornings and I don’t get tired as quickly. My family has noticed this as well.
  • I have little blond hairs above my upper lip and on my chin already. I had no hairs on my face prior to starting T so yeah this is def a change that made me very excited even though they aren’t noticeable yet.
  • Slight confidence boost that has to do with me feeling like I pass better and being able to say “Yes I have testosterone in my body” I don’t define being a man as having testosterone but that little fact has helped me be more confident in myself. 
  • There is growth going on down below, nothing noticeable really but I can tell growth is going on because it’s more sensitive and such. 
  • More oily skin and starting to break out a bit more, as expected.

As mentioned above I don’t really update this blog that much anymore but I do update my transition instagram frequently so check me out: Jeyont. I have a youtube channel that I will use in the future also named: JeyOnT.

Today has been a pretty big day for me transition wise. I went to Philadelphia for my first endo appointment at the Mazzoni Center (the doctors/people there are really nice btw I definitely recommend it) where they basically just talked to me about all the benefits and risks of being on testosterone. I already knew all about this from research over the years but I feel like the appointment really helped educate my parents more so that they have a better understanding of what me being on hormones will be like. I got some blood work done today and I’ll be heading back there in a month to officially start testosterone! I’m super excited like I can’t even put into words how excited I am. I also met with the lawyer who’s helping me with the case for my legal name change today. I feel confident that things will go well with that but there’s always the risk that the judge will refuse to sign for my name change especially with me being under 18 but I have both my parents support with all this and all I can do is hope that I get an understanding judge so that things will work out. July is gonna be a super busy month for me; I have vacation to Ocean City, Warped Tour and starting testosterone to look forward to! :D

thekingtran:

Good job dude! I’ve been following you for around 2 years and you’ve come a long way. I’m happy for you, especially the fact you’re starting T so young. Happy puberty!

Thanks man! I’m incredibly lucky to have supportive parents who are letting me start T this young, otherwise I’d be stuck saving up money and waiting until I turn eighteen. 

I have my first endocrinologist appointment on June 26th at the Mazzoni center in Philly! I don’t think I can put into words how excited I am for this, seeing as I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I was thirteen, and whenever I try to it basically comes out more like ashudfhausdf; than actual english words. This first appointment is basically going to be my parents and I discussing everything with the doctor and getting blood work done but my following appointment (most likely in July) I’ll be starting Testosterone! I can’t wait, time is probably going to go incredibly slow these days leading up till then but I’ve waited a long time already so I think I can handle another couple of months before I start T. 

[Insert GIF of someone screaming and jumping up and down with excitement here]

I haven’t even logged on this account in months, mostly because I’ve been trying my best to do what I’ve been telling you all to do in my past few posts: living my life instead of waiting for the day I would take the next steps in my transition. 

I’m not gonna lie and say life has been great during the time I spent away from this account, because it had its ups and downs. I lost my patience for a little while, I had situations with my school and fellow students that led to anxiety attacks, but I gained my patience back and I solved those problems with my school to the best of my ability. 

A main problem I’ve been having lately has to do with my legal name not being the name I’ve gone by these past few years. From substitutes who have no idea to seating charts that weren’t corrected, there has been some close cases that almost led to me being outed a time or two, which as you can guess is incredibly stressful. 

But my legal name and my birth name won’t be the same for much longer. My parents and I have plans to sit down over easter break to start gathering everything we need for my legal name change and then we’re going to get in contact with a lawyer and schedule my court date. It’s kind of crazy to think that this name that has been following me around and causing me so much pain won’t even exist for much longer.

This summer is going to be a busy one for me, what with my name change taking place as well as me finally turning sixteen (the age that was agreed upon since I was thirteen that I would start Testosterone). 

I can hardly believe how fast time has passed, it feels like just yesterday that I was a thirteen year old little kid starting this account and telling you all about my struggles of coming out to my family and the idea of testosterone being so far in my future that I thought the time would never come but it’s almost here and I just, I’m really excited to be moving forward in my transition and wanted to take the time to share this with you guys as well as make a post because this blog has kind of documented everything I’ve been going through since the very beginning. 

I used to spend my evenings watching YouTube videos of other guys like myself reaching the step in their transition that I’ve always wanted to be at but always felt so far from reaching. I’m not saying I don’t get jealous of those guys anymore, what I’m saying is that knowing I’ll be reaching that step soon makes it so much easier to focus on other important things in my life like school, family, and friends instead of wasting my time worrying about when I’ll be able to start T.

If I could give advice to other trans people out there who are currently going through a stage where getting hormones seems like the most important thing in the world, it would be this: You’ll regret the time you spent locked up in your bedroom counting down the days until you could get on the correct hormones. You will someday look back on the period of time you spent doing that and be embarrassed that you treated yourself that way. You are no less a man or woman or anything in between just because you don’t have the correct hormones yet. You’ll have them someday, hopefully soon, but don’t spend too much time worrying about the ‘when’. You can still be happy before you take that step. Stop telling yourself ‘I’ll start living once I get my hormones’ Because, yes, you may live then, but why waste the right now? You won’t be young forever, you gotta live your life to the best of it.

Yes, I know that was incredibly cheesy, but in all seriousness; try your best not to spend all your time focusing on starting hormones, that won’t make time go by any quicker.

kindofaprick:

jeydonn:

I some how managed to meet another trans guy at my school, I swear trans people have something similar to the gaydar (the transdar?) but yeah it feels really great knowing I’m not the only trans guy at my school and I really hope I become good friends with this guy because he’s the first trans person I’ve met in real life.

there’s no such thing as “transdar”. the only thing i would say is that most transpeople may be hypersensitive to gender and assume people are trans when they probably aren’t.

you really shouldn’t assume people are x until they flat out tell you they are x.

The ‘transdar’ thing was a joke, calm down. First of all, I am well aware that there is no such thing as a transdar, there is also no such thing as a gaydar. People jokingly started saying ‘gaydar’ when they randomly met other gay people. It’s not meant to be taken seriously. Second of all, you’re judging me for “assuming” this guy is trans while you’re assuming that I don’t know for sure if he is or not. I actually met this guy in GSA where he told me that he was trans and we discussed what it was like being trans in our High School.

You really shouldn’t assume things with out knowing the whole story.

I some how managed to meet another trans guy at my school, I swear trans people have something similar to the gaydar (the transdar?) but yeah it feels really great knowing I’m not the only trans guy at my school and I really hope I become good friends with this guy because he’s the first trans person I’ve met in real life.

My High School had it’s first GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) meeting today and it was actually a lot more fun than I expected. Even though the name of the club doesn’t say so, it’s a club for all LGBTQAI students at our school. It’s basically just a safe place to go and make friends that you don’t have to worry about judging you. We’ll be discussing different topics each meeting and participating in events like day of silence and other events that go on outside of school for the LGBTQAI community. We also plan on educating people and working together to convince the school to have a unisex bathroom so those uncomfortable with going to the bathroom of their assigned sex don’t have to use the nurse’s bathroom. I was already friends with a couple of people who were there but I also made some new friends really quickly. I’m really excited to continue going to this club, I feel like I’ll get along with most of the people there and get to participate in discussions about issues concerning the LGBTQAI community. I’d also like to say that I really suggest that (if you’re still in High School) you try to convince your school to have a LGBT Club because it’s really important to have a support group like that while in High School.

Seriously this club is the best they had me cracking up at one point because they said LGBTQAI like 5 times in a sentence, and let’s face it, that’s a mouthful. It surprised me how many people were at the first meeting, there like 20-30 kids :O